This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
