in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
