I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
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