it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
