You just made me feel so damn special
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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