things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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