are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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