Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
