I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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