I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
