best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
