Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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