Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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