shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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