i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
