All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
