What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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