I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
