Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
