I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
