I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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