if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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