Having a random hookup so left but love u
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
