Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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