Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
