It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
