My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
