Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
