Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
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There r osticjed everywhere
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
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Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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