I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
