are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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