every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
