i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
