Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
