A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
