The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
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ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
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The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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