Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
