Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
