We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
