Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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