rhymes with "ouble enetration"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
