Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
home. puking in laundry basket.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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