WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
