Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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