god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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