high people should be assigned attendants
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days