There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
