I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
