Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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