we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
