nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
