I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
