Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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