Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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