when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
