8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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