i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
