WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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