She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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