that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
