sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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