he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize