He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
