im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize